Remembering Kurt Miller. And riding on.

My friend Kurt is the reason I am "into" bicycles. (the ultimate understatement, any way you read it). We worked together at a camera store for a few years. He was 20ish years older than me, into jazz, photography, old Raleigh bicycles, geology, and a million other things. He had a million hobbies. He really liked to take things apart, had a moped in his storage place he'd torn down to rebuild and never got back to, as well as an old Volkswagon he'd done the same to. There were boxes of parts and pieces of that car everywhere when i visited his storage space. There were also lots of bicycle parts and a couple of old Raleigh 3-speeds. I'm steering away from where this story is meant to be going... Let me rewind.
 
   Within a couple days after I bought my Rampar R1027 from the thrift store (for $60!!!) I'd made plans to visit Kurt at his brother's place where he'd been staying and show him my new bike. He'd been diagnosed with lymphoma for a while already, was in and out of treatments and I'd been hanging out with him and a few other old camera store friends frequently in those days. Kurt had cancer, we all knew it, we just hung out and tried to stay positive and thoroughly enjoyed his company. He was sitting on one of those swinging metal framed porch bench/swing things when i got there. He was really excited about my bike. Told me some stuff about how they don't make bikes like this anymore, I didn't know anything about how bikes were made or what they made of at that point, so it was all a foreign language to me, but Kurt seemed to know about bikes and said this bike was good, so I was happy with it. It was certainly in good physical shape, being 25ish years old, made of steel and not rusty. Me and Kurt talked about him "getting better" and us riding together. He had a 3-speed Raleigh folder that he loved, it was his favorite bike at that point, and he couldn't ride it cause he was scared that he'd get dizzy or disoriented and wreck. We always talked about riding when he got "better", I don't think it really occurred to either of us at that point that he wouldn't "get better".


   Over the following few years Kurt was in and out of hospitals and rehabilitation facilities so often that it was hard to keep track of what hospital he was in. I think I visited him in every hospital in Virginia Beach at some point or another. On top of the lymphoma situation he'd also had a stroke and was in the rehabilitation places the most. These places were full of elderly people recovering from all sorts of things. Most barely hanging on to their sense of reality. It drove Kurt nuts. He was probably the smartest guy I'll ever know, definitely in the top 3 at least, and it was torture for him to be living in these mind numbing conditions. I'd go visit him and we'd talk for hours about life, about politics (he was always the liberal blacksheep in his family(so am I), so he couldn't talk to his brother or his brother's wife about politics at all), about our old friends, and we spent a lot of our time talking about bicycles. He'd tell me about bikes he'd owned or ones he'd always wanted and we'd discuss Sheldon Brown articles I'd read recently. Sheldon Brown was very passionate about old English Raleighs and his website contains a wealth of knowledge on all sorts of old bike/old Raleigh related things. The more I read about these 70's English Raleighs the more I could talk to Kurt about, we talked about the beautifully lugged Raleigh International from the early 70's, there was one year in particular that they used the most intricate lugs on any of their frames ever (73?). He told me a story of going to the local bike shop in the 70's (probably the mid to late 70's) to order the newest Schwinn whatever and the owner told him they were on back order but he had these Raleighs that were a little less popular but definitely just as good and he test rode the International and fell in love with it. This is what made him a "Raleigh guy". He definitely liked all kinds of bikes though. He was into roadbikes, the sleek sexy roadbikes of the 70's! and had the calves to show for it! He also had a modern Bianchi roadbike in his collection that he'd acquired a few years before. I think it even had brifters(or sti shifters, whatever those brake levers with built in shifters are called... i don't know). I wore his old Masi cycling cap for a while after he died, it's too big for my head, but i wore it anyway. At his funeral an old friend told a story about Kurt convincing him against his better judgement to allow him to draft behind the guy's car on a Schwinn that Kurt had converted to fixed gear with no brakes up to around 40 mph. He laughed as he told the story, which was the only point I broke down and cried during the ceremony. This man loved bikes. He motivated me to ride more, to always have fun on my bikes and to never forget that sometimes life doesn't steer the way you want it to and that you've got to appreciate the days you have and the people you spend your time with. He was an amazing man and a great guy to know. I can't express in words my gratitude for being able to know Kurt Miller and have the good times that I had with him.


    I inherited 2 of Kurt's bicycles when he passed away. I had already took into my possession his 60's Raleigh 3-speed that he told me to get from his storage space when he was in the rehabilitation/assisted living place, and his brother brought me his prized Raleigh Folder after he died.

I'm just getting back to this several days after I started it. I just couldn't figure out how to end this blog. It was hard to write as it was, but trying to finish it was harder. Not a day goes by that I don't think about my old friend Kurt.  I rode my Raleigh Supercourse fixed gear bike to my Dad's place today, 17 and a halfish miles both ways and I mentioned to him that I wanted to get him a bike. He said his health isn't good enough for him to ride a bike. This was hard for me to hear. He doesn't give a shit about riding bikes, but it's hard for me to imagine getting to a point when one day I won't be able to ride a bicycle. I don't want to accept that my Dad isn't healthy enough to trust himself on a bicycle. It's something I don't want to try to wrap my brain around...at all. But with his growing list of health issues he's been dealing with lately, I understand. I guess at the end of the day I just want to feel like I'm enjoying this life while I'm here. Riding often and having fun.

(soon I plan on rebuilding Kurt's old three speed and making that my main commuting/go everywhere bike)